Relationship dilemma

Relationships are what make humans thrive and we sometimes become highly dependent on them for our own happiness. I for once was obsessed in being in relationships I would literally jump from one relationship to the other. I became so dependent on them that my life revolved around the partner I had at that given time. I must say I spent my teenage years in relationships that were not really fulfilling just to fill up a void of my so called ‘daddy issues’ that had accumulated over the past few years.

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If ever anyone who is reading this should decide to have a child or has a child (ren) already best believe you need to take care of these issues before indulging into parenthood. Simply because these issues spill into your parenting, the way you conduct yourself and relate with your child. The main thrust here in this post is not focusing on these issues but on romantic relationships that are established after you split with your child’s father or mother. It is such a critical matter because your happiness matters by also incorporating your child in a new relationship. I feel like when children are younger it is easier for them to accept your new partner. Case in study for example the sultry singer Ciara her son Future was able to get along effortlessly with his step dad Russell who he even calls Papa. This just shows that younger kids are more impressionable than older ones that are now reasoning as adults. I feel like its more difficult when you are dealing with an adolescent who can decide to rebel against you and your partner.

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This usually happens as a means to protect their territory rather their place in your life, they tend to view your new partner as a threat to them fearing that they might be neglected by you as a parent. As a single parent before you jump into another relationship you consider all these things in your head because your child’s happiness is important too. But it is also important to look out for number one that is YOU! When you are emotionally healthy and mentally stable you are able to take great care of your offspring and this also includes being in a healthy romantic relationship. Truth be told single parents would rather avoid getting into a serious relationship with someone else simply because of their children who may not approve of their newly found love. This becomes a relationship dilemma because some single parents me included cry themselves to sleep feeling unworthy of a second chance to love but this unintentionally affects our relationship with our children. I think the main fear that we have is making the same mistake twice and ending up lonely and miserable.

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The fact still remains God created us to be in fulfilling relationships as they help us grow into loving emotionally stable beings. When you are a single parent and also single at times you feel like it is better to feel that way for the rest of your life just to protect your children from the trauma that could come with being in a relationship. Its funny how our minds work though, we tend to focus on the worst outcome of any situation instead of focusing on the positive outcome. What if it actually it does workout this time around and both parties (you and your children) end up being extra happy. They grow up in a loving environment despite the fact that their biological parents are not together anymore but what is biology anyway in the face of true love.  That being said single parents do not hesitate to follow your heart because your happiness matters and it also benefits your children but be careful and consider the feelings of your children towards your new partner. Love is certainly a beautiful thing and we all deserve to be loved one way or the other. Stay blessed and keep acing that parenting game! Till next time cheers…

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