I remember crying in my bathroom sitting in a bathtub filled with sea salt water. This was a healing method my granny taught me in order for my stitches to heal faster and “safer”. I was in so much pain after giving birth to my wonderful angel though it was six weeks later the pain seemed not to subside. I became addicted to pain meds as a way to cope with the unbearable postpartum pain amounting to depression and anxiety. My close family members were always giving me advice on how to take care of myself and my child also giving me unrealistic healing timelines. They became a broken record saying by this time you should be good to go another saying by this time you should be able to walk. I was literally frustrated by the pressure everyone around me was giving me. I remember 3 months had gone by and I was still feeling abdominal pain and I was kinda struggling to even poop.
I was terrified to confide in my gynaecologist because I was sure something was definitely wrong with me. So I continued to pop them over the counter pills that became my own safe haven. Six months down the line nothing changed in fact it worsened and I was struggling to carry my bouncing baby boy due to back pain. My mum noticed this and as any parent she was worried and asked what was wrong because I never told her I was in so much pain. I told her out of fear that she might find out badly if I happen to get admitted into hospital. I recall her sitting me down saying that women are a work of art God’s very own masterpiece carrying and giving birth is something to be proud of. But as women we heal differently and some take longer than others and some faster. From hearing these words I immediately broke down into tears because I had been too strong for too long and I could not carry the weight any more. My pillar of strength a.k.a mummy dearest just hugged me as a confirmation of words unspoken saying she understood me and she was there for me. That literally solved half of the problem the next stop was getting the medical attention that I so dearly needed. She held my hand all through the way of healing my mind, body and soul.
I was fortunate enough to have a great gynae who understood me and my pain. She examined me and told me that my pelvic floor had been damaged during giving birth hence the abdominal pain and back pain. She was wise enough to refer me to one of her colleagues who is a physiotherapist. The therapist helped me regain my life back by exercising my pelvic muscles. The healing process is still taking place but I no longer experience any physical pain. The healing now has to do more with my mind and soul which is probably a lifetime process on its own. You might be asking yourself why I took time to tell you one of my many life challenges well simply because I want to tell someone who is going through the same thing that it’s okay to break the silence and tell someone about how you are feeling post baby.
And ladies listen to me loudly and clearly do not I repeat do not succumb to the pressure coming from your family members your spouse your friends the media who are there to give you unrealistic timelines when and how your body should heal. Me myself and I I’m against those celeb quick fix get your body back in six weeks rubbish. We are differently built and our healing processes are different know and understand your own body. Another major fear that we have as women is to lose our spouse or bf during the healing time because we are not able to have mind blowing sex with them and we become afraid that they might cheat on us because of that. This is probably one of the major reasons why we get too strong too early just to keep him happy but ladies gone are the days. Communicate with your partner let him understand and genuinely know how and what you are feeling and see a healthcare provider together. When you have a great support system you are most likely to heal faster which is a bonus for your relationship. I shall close with these brilliant words from Martin Luther King Jr “If you can’t fly then run if you can’t run then walk if you can’t walk then crawl but by all means keep moving”