Hey beautiful friends I’m sorry I’ve been hella busy. But I’m back now and things have stabilized. I want to talk to you about how i am a human before i am a mother. A lot of people overlook that aspect and make you feel like you are a “robot” and you are not allowed to breakdown. I was definitely blessed to have an amazing son and its all so surreal sometimes. Expectations rise, some to be honest are a bit unrealistic and in our Shona culture breaking down represents cowardice. Hence the famous saying “nzou hairemerwi nenyanga dzayo” meaning a mother is supposed to suppress all of her emotions even when it hurts. This is plain bull crap I am also human i feel things and suppressing them can only lead to a severe meltdown.
This is why we as mothers despite being single or married we hide our tears from our children in order to keep the picture perfect of a strong super heroine. I clearly remember the first time I saw my mum crying i was in 5th grade and it traumatized me for a long time because i never thought that super heroes cry too and it made me question my own strength. I want us as women to be vulnerable when need be even in front of our children. Its very therapeutic and sends out a positive message to our kids that even when life gets a little tough its really okay to cry the toughness out.
Especially boys need this message more than anything because they are raised in a tough environment accompanied by phrases like “big boys don’t cry”. Catch them young and teach them right. Its okay to cry when u are hurting. In fact its actually pretty damn cool. I always like to sign out with an inspiring quote, ‘“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
Stay flat out fantastic honeys lots of love. Till next time i love you!